Has one of your parents ever contacted a professor about your grades? Have they gone with you into a job interview and participated? Has either of your parents ever talked to your boss about your job performance? If you said ‘yes’ to any of those questions and you are over 18, odds are you have a Helicopter Parent. According to one of my favorite articles about Helicopter Parenting, Dr. Anne Dunnewold says, “It means being involved in a child’s life in a way that is overcontrolling, overprotecting, and overperfecting, in a way that is in excess of responsible parenting.” It’s common for people in the Millennial Generation to have a Helicopter Parent. If you’re interested in finding out more about different parenting styles, check out this article by Zoey Miller of The Babble Out.
It can be difficult to establish boundaries with your parents. They are usually coming from a place of love, and could honestly want to protect you from negative experiences. Coaching can help executives and professionals take control of your own life and make your own choices from a place of confidence. At Fly High Coaching, we use the BRAVE Process, an empowering way to move towards your goals. Whether you accept it or not, your parents won’t always be there to navigate every situation for you. Let’s discuss the three keys to taking control of your life, while working with your Helicopter Parent.
Open Communication
Have you spoken openly and honestly with your parents about what you like and don’t like? Do they know what effects their helicopter parenting has had on you? You have to get real with yourself here too. It’s possible that you enjoy having your parents schedule your day and make all important decisions for you. If so, where does that come from? If you would like to change things, you can!
Establish Boundaries
What is off limits in your personal life that you don’t discuss or rely on your parents for? Is it your career path, relationships, or finances? Practice saying, “I don’t want to discuss that.” Or, “I’d like to make up my own mind.” You can be respectful, with out being a doormat. Having time and space to make your own decisions can be very liberating and is an important part of being in tuned with yourself.
Self Sufficiency
How are you providing for yourself? Do you have your own money to pay your bills and buy the things you want? Relying on your parents for your financial needs can affect your self-esteem and cause you to feel stuck or trapped. It is much easier to establish boundaries and have open communication with your parents, when you are bringing something to the table. If you aren’t completely self-sufficient yet, focus on developing one area of your life at a time.
If you have a Helicopter Parent and would like to change the dynamics of your relationship, coaching can help address your concerns. Working on your self-sufficiency, establishing boundaries, and open communication can make it easier to take control. Contact us for a Vision of Success Session, to discuss creating the life you deserve.
Porschia Parker-Griffin
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