Emotional intelligence involves being aware of your own and other people’s emotions, to understand them and guide your responses. Emotional intelligence in the workplace is important because it helps to create a positive culture, which can increase efficiency and productivity. On this episode, Porschia, alongside our special guest, Diane Liewehr, discuss the importance of emotional intelligence and how it is essential for career growth.
According to Diane, emotional intelligence or EQ/ EI is an indicator of your overall success in coping with environmental demands, through your own emotional and social functioning.
Diane is certified in emotional intelligence, conversational intelligence, appreciative inquiry, and The Reach Method. She also has advanced training in positive intelligence. Diane holds a Professional Certified Coach credential with the International Coaching Federation.
What you’ll learn:
- What is emotional intelligence and how is it measured or assessed?
- What are the different dimensions of emotional intelligence and how are they connected?
- What are the challenges professionals and executives have with their emotional intelligence in the workplace? How can you overcome them?
- How can a business owner or a leader know when their team has an issue with emotional intelligence?
Quotes:
“I think if people can learn to be comfortable with themselves and others, then that energy spreads to allow others to become comfortable with themselves and others.” – Diane Liewehr
As a thank you for listening to this episode of the Career 101 Podcast, we are sharing our FREE master class – Career 911: Solving the Top 5 Challenges Executives and Professionals Have! It’s a training based on solving the common problems our clients have experienced to reach their goals. You can get access to the master class here!
Episode Transcript
Porschia: [00:00:00] Today we are talking about emotional intelligence 101 emotional intelligence in the workplace. With Diane Liewehr. Diane is an executive and life leadership coach and consultant propelling human potential. The focus of Diane’s method is based on the science of attitudes impacting behavior. Diane has a background studying human attitudes, motivations, and behaviors to affect positive change.
She has successfully navigated global matrix organizations, including HSBC. Citibank, JPMorgan Chase and Young and Rubicon having been a senior vice president and head of North America for consumer insights and marketing strategy. Diane is a certified professional coach through the [00:01:00] Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching.
And she is certified in emotional intelligence, conversational intelligence, appreciative and inquiry, uh, and the reach method for stretching outside of your comfort zone. And she also has advanced training in positive intelligence. Diane holds a professional certified coach credential with the international coaching federation.
She has an MBA from the city university of New York and a BS degree in marketing with a minor in psychology from Bradley university. Hi, Diane. How are you today?
Diane: I’m great. Thank you so much for having me.
Porschia: Absolutely. I am excited to have you with us to discuss emotional intelligence 101, uh, and really dig into emotional intelligence in the workplace.
But first, we want to know a little [00:02:00] bit more about you. So what was your first job, Diane?
Diane: Oh, goodness. My first job, uh, was babysitting. Uh, my next door neighbors, who I was growing up, um, little town, northwest suburbs of Chicago, uh, and… Just, um, two kids next door, the mom and dad working, that sort of thing.
I was 11, uh, years old. Uh, it was just kind of young now that I’m this old. I look back on that like, wow, that’s pretty young. But it’s really great to kind of have that, um, Younger siblings thing because I was the youngest in my family. Uh, so, um, that I did that all through high school and a bit into college and earn a bunch of money that helped me with college for sure.
Porschia: Yeah, that’s great. That’s great. So I want to know how you went from babysitting to, uh, your accolades in college and, you know, that career because when I [00:03:00] read your bio, I saw that you’ve done with some really large corporations. Just tell us about some highlights or pivotal moments in your career before you became a coach.
Diane: Yeah. Yeah. Uh, well, you know, I, um, I think it was in college, you know, I studied marketing. Uh, I was very interested in psychology. I minor ended up minoring in it. Um, but it was really at the heart of it, fascinated with people. And, um, I think just studied and studied. I fell in love with market research. Uh, so that I either, when I graduated college, wanted to go to market research.
Or to HR, because I felt both were really about, uh, dealing with people, um, and understanding them. And, uh, I liked trends. I liked all that stuff, um, about following maybe populations, demographics. I found it just fascinating. So I ended up, I was able to land my very first job after undergrad in a marketing research company.
So I got a lot of like on the [00:04:00] ground training there. And in that industry, there’s three sides of it. You can do it as a What they call a supplier or the vendor who’s actually do writing the questionnaires, collecting the data. Um, but then also on the advertising side, which is what took me to young Rubicam at one time, and then all over to the client side.
And I spent the client side really in financial services for different reasons about people I met in my earlier jobs, um, and just kind of my own inclinations. So, um, it was really about just, uh, understanding people and then translating that. Uh, in a, in a corporate environment into strategy, into consumer feedback, into consumer insights about what people say and what people do.
My goal is to get in between that because what people say and what they do, isn’t always the same thing. And so getting underneath that and being able to create messaging, uh, and strategies and brand advertising, product advertising, develop products, that sort of thing. Um, that really [00:05:00] geared to people in a way that they wanted it to be, even though they couldn’t necessarily articulate it themselves, certainly helps propel business.
Um, and so I did that, and then I had the opportunity to use those same skills, interestingly, in my leadership roles as I progressed in my own career, uh, and got folks under me and different functions, uh, functions outside of market research, um, and then just different countries and being able to take those same skills into a more, uh, one on one relationship with staff or peers or folks on other other countries.
Colleagues teams who were felt safe enough to come to me, but not safe enough to go to their own manager to help propel the whole marketing team across North America. Um, and then, you know, kind of, that’s what led me to where I am now, which is kind of interestingly back in some regards to the HR path. I thought I would take maybe when I was much younger, but they can, they converged into, um, my [00:06:00] current, you know, coaching capacity and consulting services.
Yeah.
Porschia: Yeah. Your background is so interesting. And, um, I can see the psychology in the market research and in the HR fields. So, uh, it’s great that, you know, you have all of that experience. So Diane, you know, as an executive, I’m sure that you had some major, um, challenges or issues that you had to resolve.
So what was. You know, one of your biggest career challenges before you, you know, became a coach and started your business.
Diane: One. Oh gosh. Probably so many of them. Right. Um. I would say that one of them was, uh, certainly once I got some staff underneath me, um, some of the conflicts that can happen. Um, [00:07:00] and that’s where my coaching skills, I got certified while I was still in my corporate role.
I got certified in coaching. Um, I should say, um, talking lingo here, I don’t mean to. Um, and that came really handy because while I didn’t use it in that capacity. Certainly as a business, the way I do today, uh, it was really helpful, um, in helping my team members, uh, and then certainly gluing the team back together, but those, those are difficult because, you know, it’s that space between, you know, a manager and the space between a human, uh, and trying to have empathy, but also trying to, uh, drive, uh, a goal, a strategy, uh, a department.
Um, business results and then, um, not allowing or not allowing is not the right word, but not help, hopefully minimizing the, um,
sorry, uh, influence it [00:08:00] has on the rest of the team. So those are tricky, the people management ones. So I remember some of those. Otherwise, I’m going to look at my notes a little because I have another example for you. Sorry, I’m
not finding it on my sheet. So that’s what comes to my mind.
Porschia: Yeah. Yeah. People challenges can be really difficult for executives, business owners, managers, and, uh, just I would say coworkers in general, right? So, yeah, I, I’m sure that after getting certified as a coach, uh, you could really see some new and innovative ways to kind of approach those things.
Diane: Yeah, for sure. For sure. It was really rewarding. It helped me earn actually, um, [00:09:00] an accolade across all the functions across, um, the corporate area, um, and win a center of excellence award for my team when we took two parts of the business and we blended them together. And they, they were kind of clunky. I don’t know that they really should have been blended together, but they were being blended together.
And my colleagues across the other functions of finance or HR or HR. Um, you know, marketing is a function, um, that they voted me as my team being the, the most, um, cohesive through that transition. And so I, I took a lot of pride in that, but I do think it was some of my, one, my, uh, skills for marketing research from running so many focus groups and needing to be behind a, uh, a mirror watching everybody else and observing and learning intuitively what’s going to work and what’s not, but also my training.
Um, and then applying it just to try to get everyone to do the right thing and not get so caught up, um, in maybe the politics or [00:10:00] their own personal emotions, which actually leads into emotional intelligence, of
Porschia: course. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like a lot of change management on the organizational level going on there too.
And we know that coaching can really help with that. Um, so you mentioned that you got your coaching certification while you were still working in corporate. How did you decide to get that certification or really become a coach?
Diane: Yeah. You know, um, I had a couple of other colleagues who’d been interested in it.
And, uh, I had had some experience receiving coaching, um, in a couple of different opportunities. And so I really, uh, um, I really liked the introspection and reflection that I gained from it and the growth that I got from it. And I talked about doing it for a long time. And then another colleague of mine had an opportunity and she went and did it, left corporate and went and did it for different reasons.
And she needed a guinea pig. She had a lot of, you know, [00:11:00] life, um, exam, uh, not examples, but folks to. to use as her guinea pigs. But she said, Look, can I really leverage you as a person in the working world? And I said, Yeah, sure. And so it was really great for me to experience it on the other side again through my friend.
And I had been talking about it with her and with others, honestly, too long, maybe eight years before I actually finally did it. And When I did do it, it was because I got tired of hearing myself telling other people and other people saying to me, Oh my gosh, you’re a natural at this. Well, what are you waiting for?
But it was me holding myself back. And finally, I just said, just do it. Don’t, I didn’t tell anybody. I didn’t ask the company to pay for it or anything. Cause I just figured I can learn from it first. Myself. And if nothing else, then that’s great. That’s my own personal growth. But maybe I can use it in my job as a manager, as a leader.
Maybe one day I can move into some other department, uh, that leverages it. There’s a lot of opportunities, a very global firm. And then maybe one day I’ll, I’ll do something on [00:12:00] my own. I’ll have my own business. I took three of those four steps.
Porschia: All right. All right. Here I am. I skipped one. Yeah. Well, you, you, you circled the path there.
That’s so interesting. And that you just really took that initiative to jump in and, uh, go to coach training yourself. Um, you and I have gone through the same coach certification training program. Um, and I could definitely speak to how powerful it is. Um, So now I want to talk about emotional intelligence because it’s really become a hot topic nowadays, and, uh, you hear it as kind of like a buzzword, I think, to you, uh, what is emotional intelligence, also known as EQ?
Diane: Yes, EQ or EI, uh, also that’s out there too. Uh, you know, it’s, it’s basically an indicator of, uh, your overall success. In [00:13:00] coping with the external, well, coping with the environmental demands, I should say, through your own emotional and social functioning.
Porschia: Wow. Sounds very deep. Um, so I know that many people think of emotional intelligence differently.
Um, but in your practice, how is emotional intelligence? It’s measured or assessed because this can seem very abstract to a lot of people, Diane.
Diane: Yeah, well, you know, of course there is the assessment, there’s, you know, emotional intelligence intelligence assessments, which I don’t hate them. I’m certified in several, but they’re not my favorite tools.
I’ll be really honest. And it’s a little surprising sometimes. Um, and, and, you know, other people have said like, isn’t that like how you run your business? And for me, um, [00:14:00] I, I can, but I prefer just a dialogue and to really work with people. And I have the knowledge because they understand the assessments.
So I can use that knowledge in a way that can be a bit more conversational, a bit more connecting, a bit more intuitive, a bit more conceptual sometimes to then turn into action steps. Then sometimes the fear or the anxiety that’s generated from an assessment and someone says, Oh my God, this is what I am, which is not.
True. And because of my background in marketing research and statistics and surveys and segmentation schemes, which are built from surveys, such as these assessments, I have a lot of training in that. And I prefer to not let people get overly analytical or anxious or labeled. Through that. So, um, I hope that helps
Porschia: Yeah, it does, it does. Um, I, uh, don’t know as much about emotional intelligence, [00:15:00] um, as you do. I don’t have any, you know, special training in it. I think it’s very interesting because people do ask me sometimes, you know, are there levels, and I do think it’s one of the more abstract, uh, concepts. When you think about what people talk about, right?
So communication or conflict resolution, I think people can kind of visually or experience intuitively, Hey, this is positive communication, or this is negative communication, or, Hey, that conflict was resolved. But I think when a lot of people talk about emotional intelligence, um, It seems harder, like a harder conversation for them to have.
Have you experienced that?
Diane: Um, I understand what you’re saying. And I think that, uh, for some people, yes, until you begin to talk about what it really is. And so there’s emotional and social functioning scares people, but really that’s about, you know, there’s Depending on your school of emotional intelligence.
I know Daniel Goleman has slightly different [00:16:00] version and different things, but then the one that I was certified in, but they’re all incredibly the same at the certainly at the conceptual and application level. So there’s these different dimensions, these buckets that have been some attributes within each one, but the buckets really they range from about your own self to about more social.
Interrelated things. So for example, self perception, self expression, interpersonal, uh, decision making and then stress management and they build on one another. And so it’s really important to create that self awareness that understand how, how aware are you of things? Are you paying attention? Is it conscious or unconscious?
What about your own self regard? Separate from your own self esteem and then, you know, kind of how you, um, express yourself through those things. And, um, this isn’t necessarily one of them, but I work a lot with folks on like, they’re [00:17:00] who, like, who are, who am I? Who are you? Look at your value system. Lots of other things come into that because that then helps you ground in knowing that you’re, you’re, you’re living your truth that, that will help you self actualize.
And then comes everybody else. Right. The decision making the interactions with other people, you’re using your intuition in those ways, um, how stressed out you’re going to get because you have different perspectives, uh, and things like that so that you dig into each of those buckets and in different kinds of ways.
But I believe that, you know, it starts with yourself, you know, for your own inner strength and success.
Porschia: Yeah, that’s so fascinating. That’s so fascinating. So to follow up on some of those dimensions, like you mentioned, right? Self perception, interpersonal relations, decision making, stress management within each of those dimensions.
Um, how do people kind of, I guess, get more granular and think about emotional intelligence? Are there like [00:18:00] subsets
Diane: to those? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So for example, in self perception, there’s self regard, self esteem, and emotional self awareness. All those three dimensions kind of help build up to that whole.
And then in the idea of self expression is your emotional expression, uh, assertiveness, and your independence. Those again holding, how are you expressing yourself? And interpersonal has interpersonal relationships. Empathy big, very big emotional intelligence often gets usurped by people saying it’s about self awareness and empathy.
It is, but there’s more to it. But those are two very big components for sure. Understanding others, um, from an emotional standpoint and then social responsibility is in there because it’s so connectedness with community. Uh, decision making is really important. Thank you. Includes the ideas of problem solving reality testing.
Like, how true is this? Because our minds can get a [00:19:00] little carried away many, many times. And that can take us off course if we’re not able to re anchor in that. And that helps, um, understand impulse control. Reacting versus pause, control my emotions, understand the others, and respond. And then that last dimension around stress management, you know, what kind of flexibility do you have?
How do you know your own stress tolerance? And then how optimistic are you? Can you see the positive? Can you see the potential, the gratitude, the abundance? I’ve got a big background in gratitude. As well, which I love to use with folks because I think it helps, um, even in that self regard, which is back to the first one, because there’s so much negative self talk in the world.
Um, so I have a partner on a book with some folks and, you know, that on the gratitude. So I find that they, they become very interrelated, uh, in one, well, it’s on a piece of paper, it’s separate [00:20:00] from something, it’s separate from something, they’re so intertwined, um, that it’s really fascinating to see how they impact one another and that if you can shift one to be a bit stronger or more positive, how it has an effect on the rest.
Porschia: Yeah, yeah, I can definitely see how there would be a lot of overlap and thank you for sharing those components because it really helps me to conceptualize this a bit more and I’m sure it helps our listeners to really get a better idea of what emotional intelligence is and you know how that shows up at work.
So Diane, from your perspective, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve seen professionals and executives have? with their own emotional intelligence in the workplace.
Diane: Yeah. Um, the first one I would say is around their own, I’ll call it, um, Self regard or self esteem because [00:21:00] confidence isn’t really written in the the EQ materials in the dimensions in that way.
Um, but this, a lot of folks come with imposter syndrome. Young, uh, older, male, female, everything. It’s really interesting and it’s a very vulnerable place for people. Uh, and so when… We begin working on that. It isn’t just to say, okay, well, you’re intelligent. Look at your resume and you’ve done all these things because they feel like, yeah, that’s the shield.
And I’m hiding behind the shield and people think I can do these things, but I don’t know if I believe in myself, which brings me back to a lot of that, who work and their values and who are they and who do they know that they are at their core? Like, it’s not going to waiver. There’s parts that waiver because we’re human.
And then there’s parts that won’t waiver again, but on the opposite side, that never going to engage in that kind of stuff because that’s who I am. Uh, so, but that confidence, because it has a lot to do in the. The negative self talk comes in that doubting and needing to [00:22:00] build up the positive beliefs, that abundance side, that gratitude side, uh, for who they are, what they’ve achieved, and then begin, uh, even with affirmations.
I think those are incredibly useful as a tool to help us, um, Break through the, the beliefs that are dragging us down and rebuild them in ways that can help support us when we are our best champion to ourselves.
Porschia: And, you know, as I was listening to you, something you just said, not too long ago, really hit me again about how, you know, intertwined all of this is, you know, because you can start off with, you know, One of the kind of elements and it, it really does connect to some of the other ones.
So Diane, how might a business owner or a leader know that their team has an issue with [00:23:00] emotional intelligence? Hmm.
Diane: Yeah. Um, Great question. Um, I think, um, it certainly can be, uh, at a team level, but it’s also very independent, uh, certainly, because you can control yourself. You could, and EEQ or EI, by the way, You can learn.
It’s not that, you know, the science says, you know, back in the day, like IQ, you’re this is your IQ. This is your IQ. There’s no changing it, whatever. And you’re just born this way. But EQ is because it is so social. And, you know, if you create more conscious awareness about your habits, you know, there’s basically in behavior change, which is really what I’ve done my whole career as well, in whichever capacity is really about creating awareness, gaining acceptance, And then having choice that choice is about what behavior are you going to display the same one with bad habit you’re talking to me about now is as your coach that you want [00:24:00] to get away from that your default is there.
It’s become so habitual. You don’t know another way out. Or are you going to pause when you make that choice this time and choose a different path. And so, um, I think it’s really about understanding the individuals on the team and kind of observing them. You know, you have to Just see what patterns evolve on the team.
Where are they starting? Um, kind of what’s at the root of them. And then, you know, having conversations and team meetings about these things, maybe collectively and maybe as individuals. not calling someone out or anything like that. But this idea of, um, kind of highlighting when something’s gone well, um, kind of leveraging three people, if there’s a team of 10 who get together on, on something to help bring something else.
And then that gets brought back to the team so people can see it. They can become aware of. That and then begin to see the examples of how to adopt it, because sometimes [00:25:00] people just don’t know how to change and you and I both know that that’s why we’re doing what we’re doing is to help people become more aware so that they can change and have control.
Agency over their self. They are the CEO of their own world. So, you know, as a as a manager or a leader, it’s really about observing a lot and then having some tools like this or team tools, those sorts of things and being willing to take people to the space of vulnerability. But of course first creating psychological safety to do that and then allowing everyone to be human so we messed up that didn’t work you know, okay, there might be some real consequences and you have to be a little more firm than I just was now but the Reality of oh my god.
Okay. Let’s just fix it. Nobody. We’re all imperfect Imperfectly a perfectly imperfect human beings and that’s really important to help Each member of the team understand so that they aren’t feeling so judged judgments huge as well. Um, and So [00:26:00] judged by the others on the team and not be so quick to judge them, those others as well.
So I hope that came back
Porschia: around. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. I, um, really can zero in on what you were saying about the awareness, acceptance, and then having that choice, um, showing people that, you know, in different scenarios, I’m sure is so powerful. Um, so you’ve already started doing this, but I want to ask you for some more.
What are some tips that you’d give a professional or an executive who wanted to increase their level of emotional
Diane: intelligence? Yeah. Yeah. Um, again, would be, it starts with the awareness. So kind of how it would be person by person, but you know, what is it that they need to create more awareness about?
Are they having a lot of conflicts with people? Are they mindful of their own language? Are they mindful of how they’re showing up [00:27:00] the energy that they’re bringing? Um, if they’re not then exercises, sometimes home, I’m pretty known for homework as a coach. Um, so I, I give them homework that it’s just a tracking thing.
I want them to observe themselves. Between now and, you know, the next time I see them and, and bring those examples back not for judgment, not for, you know, me to say good or bad for us to simply discuss all the good, the bad and the ugly so we can get to pass the awareness is what they’re doing to the acceptance of, okay, I did that I am doing that.
It is not that I’m terrible because I’m doing that. I’m a bad manager, but instead, okay, I now aware I’m doing it. So now once I’m aware I’m doing it, aha. Once I catch myself doing it, I get to pause. Before I make my choice, but when I just do it, I’m unconsciously doing it and it’s causing the problem. So I like to start there.
Yeah,
Porschia: yeah, very powerful. I [00:28:00] have learned a lot about emotional intelligence just by, uh, what you’ve shared so far. Tell us more about your business, Diane Higher Road Coaching.
Diane: Yeah. Thank you. Uh, it’s, you know, it’s definitely, um, a, a large part of it is coaching the executive leadership, um, just business professional level.
It could be individual contributors, all, all good, um, to help them through many things. It could be these more personal things that, that I’ve shared. Sometimes it’s really just career advancement, uh, leadership, uh, trying for that next role. Uh, or they get a new team and they don’t really know how, and that’s a big.
Move from individual contributor to a manager, but then at the executive level, um, it becomes a little more, um, dynamic, a little bit more, you know, we’ll call it political. It can. Um, and so it requires a little bit. Bigger conceptual [00:29:00] strategic, uh, thinking, uh, for them and working on themselves in that way.
A lot of communication, uh, communication is given a big strength in, in that as well, um, because it’s at the heart of how we’re going to connect, um, and we can do it well or not. Well, uh, eq helps inform it, but then, you know, there’s a whole extra. Budget tools for communication as well, as you know, um, so yeah, that and, and certainly workshops and, um, facilitations also, uh, I’m, I’m pretty good at that having led lots of it, whether it’s focused, done my own focus groups for various reasons, or as, as a leader with team meetings and things like that.
And sometimes it’s very difficult to be the participant. Even as the leader, the manager of the team, because you want to, you want to have some separation. And so sometimes it’s really great to bring in someone from the outside who has some experience in that space. Um, and you know, those kinds of, those kinds of things.
Porschia: Great. Great. So we’ll be providing a [00:30:00] link to your website and your other social channels and our show notes so that people can find you online. But what is the best way for someone to get
Diane: in touch with you? Yeah, for sure. I’m always happy to connect on LinkedIn for sure. You can find me there. And then also Diane at higher road coaching.
com that’s directly to me.
Porschia: Perfect. Perfect. So a few other questions that I like to ask. Um, I’m really interested to know, Diane, what is your definition of career success?
Diane: Yeah. Um, it’s interesting when you ask me now, versus if you had asked me maybe 10 or 15 years ago, I think it may have changed, uh, at the heart.
I think I always felt this way, but I had some more to say about it back then. Now, I honestly believe it’s about where you can find your own content and you can find, uh, where you want [00:31:00] to have impact. Uh, and. Where you can be proud of yourself, not be what you think others want you to be. Because that’s filled with the shoulds and all these things pleasing everybody else.
I think the definition of success is when you can really be proud and please yourself and be able to bring that strength, uh, and courage sometimes to what you put out in the world and everyone around you. Because they see it and it’s contagious and that can help them.
Porschia: Great, great. My last question. How do you think executives or professionals can get a positive edge in their career?
Diane: I,
I believe, which is in part why I transitioned and developed this company with the name Higher Road Coaching. I think [00:32:00] if they can just be them, because I’m very clear of what it is to be in a business and they have to put that mask on and go through the revolving door on 5th Avenue with my armor, my suit on and my mask.
And you know, they, the colleagues or people in the, in the, in the, um, company asked, well, go ask that lady who runs market research, the question I was like, I’m Diane. And so I think if, if people can learn to be comfortable with themselves and others. And they, then that energy spreads to allow others to become comfortable with themselves and others.
It keeps going to create a, a healthier environment, a healthy culture for people to be themselves, to be vulnerable, to put those ideas out there that we want to do but so many times hold ourselves back from. And it’s really about just allowing people to be human. And not judging them so quickly.
Porschia: Great.
Great. I love it. Diane, you have shared a lot of [00:33:00] insights with us today. I’m sure that our listeners can use it to be more confident in their careers. We appreciate you being with us.
Diane: Yeah. Thank you so much Portia. This was really great. I love having conversations like this. Thank you.
Porschia: Thank you.
