When obstacles inevitably arise, we sometimes need a little help keeping our goals in perspective. Your support system is a network of people you trust and might look to for guidance. But, most people close to you can be biased which can be more harmful than helpful. In this episode, we’re sharing helpful tips on how to build a support system in a way that’s beneficial for you and your career!
Your friends and family love you, but they might not understand your ambitions, believe in you, or can underestimate you. So they should not be your only source of support. That is why creating a career support system is essential for executives and professionals! It offers a sense of community, accountability, and support, helping you feel connected and motivated while working towards your goals.
Our CEO and host Porschia, will walk you through how to build a strong support system for your career.
What you’ll learn:
- How to build a strong and dependable support system for your career.
- Who are the people that should be in your career support system?
- How to navigate around competitive one-uppers and dream killers.
- The 4 things you should look for in members of your career support system!
Quotes:
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
As a thank you for listening to this episode of the Career 101 Podcast, we are sharing our FREE master class – Career 911: Solving the Top 5 Challenges Executives and Professionals Have! It’s a training based on solving the common problems our clients have experienced to reach their goals. You can get access to the master class here!
Episode Transcript
Porschia: [00:00:00] Happy New Year. I hope that your New Year is off to a great start. The New Year is one of my favorite times of year because everything seems fresh, as if there is a world of possibilities. You can let go of the stress, drama, or any other unwanted feelings from the previous year and move forward. Whether you make New Year’s resolutions, goals, or just have a word of the year, It’s exciting to plan for what you can create.
I think one of the things that attracted me to coaching is I truly believe in our clients, but also understand that most executives and professionals don’t have a support system. So this episode is on support [00:01:00] system 101, how to build a support system for your career. One of our core values As a company at Fly High Coaching is positivity for that reason.
So now this isn’t positivity in a Pollyanna or an unrealistic sense, though. I tell all of our team members that we might be the only positive person in our client’s lives. We might be the only people who believe in their goals, their dreams, and their desires. Even though we live in a time where there is so much information readily available online and offline, people feel very alone.
All of that information out there and the presence of social media has led to a [00:02:00] lot of confusion, comparison, and anxiety. One of my favorite quotes is, success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. And that quote is by Winston Churchill. When I’ve spoken with a lot of clients, many of them have told me that they don’t make New Year’s resolutions or they don’t like creating goals because they haven’t achieved some of their goals in the past and they don’t want to set themselves up for failure.
Continuously trying new things, coming up with new solutions, and just having the courage to keep going is part of the process. to be successful. What I like so much about that quote by Winston Churchill is that I think he’s really touching on that aspect of the process. [00:03:00] So success is not a final destination and neither is failure.
One of the reasons why I see a lot of people give up on their resolutions or their goals is that they just don’t have a support system. The last study I read on New Year’s resolutions said that most people who make resolutions are likely to give up on their goals by January 19th. So that’s almost three weeks in, and about 80% of people have quit on their goals by the second week of February.
I think that a lot of that has to do with the mindset, resources, and support people have in their lives. In my decade of coaching, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients. And as a coach, you start to notice different patterns with [00:04:00] clients who achieve their goals. And the clients who quit on their goals.
There are quite a few patterns I notice, but I think the number one aspect that I want to focus on today is building a strong support system. So what comes to your mind when you think of a support system? Many people immediately think of their family and friends. And while we know that family and friends are important, when you think about a support system for your career, I recommend that you consider it differently.
I think you should ask yourself, who are the unbiased people that you could share your plans with? The truth is that most people’s family members and friends are biased, and they’re heavily biased, usually. It’s natural for them to be biased. [00:05:00] They have been in your life a long time and they love you. By knowing you for so long, most of the time they have an agenda for you.
They see you in a certain way. And they have expectations for who and how you should be in their mind. If their expectation matches up with your beliefs, Then sometimes it’s okay. However, what happens most of the time is that your friends and family members do not have the same vision for your career that you do.
They have their own opinions on what they think is best for you, which could not include your personal goals. The people in most professionals and executives lives encourage them to stay safe and not take any risks to achieve their goals. It is [00:06:00] often common for friends and family members to be what I call dream killers.
They might not intentionally be trying to be negative or dismissive, but they are looking at you from their perspective. It’s very difficult for someone else to believe in something that they don’t understand or have been successful with themselves. Friends and family members might tell you to be more realistic because they haven’t seen anyone do what you are attempting.
They might not be able to even imagine someone going through a career transition, earning a certain salary, or starting a business from the ground up. It’s important to know that a lot of the comments from dreamkillers are not intended to be hurtful. They usually think that they are protecting you in some way.[00:07:00]
But the reality is that they are discouraging you and not believing in your goals. So, on the topic of some people being dream killers, I’m sure that you have an idea of who you might have met in the past that was a dream killer. Most people have at least one dream killer in their life right now. I generally recommend that you avoid sharing any of your goals, desires, or plans with dream killers.
In fact, it’s helpful to remove or decrease the amount of time you spend with negative people. Some examples are one uppers, non believers, and overly competitive friends and family. I think many people know what a one upper is. This is someone whose first instinct is to outdo [00:08:00] someone else. Whatever you’ve done, the one upper has done it better.
Whatever you have, a one upper has more. One. Uppers usually talk about how they are just ahead of you or have just a little more than you do with the popularity of social media today, the practice of one upping someone is very common. Instead of being happy for other people, there’s usually a spirit of cutting someone down behind a one upper statement.
Non believers, on the other hand, do not think that what you’re trying to do is possible. These people generally think that everything has already been done, or you don’t stand a chance because you’re already so far behind. Non believers are usually not very happy in their own life. [00:09:00] Or they feel comfortable because they think they are safe while typically not taking any risks.
Again, we love our families, but most people know of at least one family member who is overly competitive in non competitive situations. This level of competition extends beyond playing sports or games. These types of people want to win at all costs or beat others in every way. For your sanity and, uh, the success of your career, I recommend that you avoid all of these types of people, if possible, and do not share your plans with them.
You should love your family and friends, but I do not recommend that they be your sole source of support. [00:10:00] In fact, I generally see that the larger your goal, The less you should share with biased friends and family. They know you based on how you currently are now or how you were in the past. They’ve never seen you in this larger or different version of yourself, where you are achieving your resolutions or your goals.
In these instances, most people would not believe that your goals are possible unless they’ve done something similar for themselves. So, who should be in your support system? I want to talk about that now.
I think it’s important to make the distinction between a career support system and a general support system. As I mentioned before, your general support system could include your [00:11:00] family. Spouse, partner, friends, coworkers, and other acquaintances that you know. Even when it comes to your general support system, you should be discerning with who you share information with.
Your career support system.
The people in your career support system should be those who can help you to achieve your career goals in some way. This might be directly or indirectly. There are four main characteristics of the people I recommend be in your career support system. It is ideal if these people are professionals, who are career or business focused, positive, experienced, And unbiased, there are many people out there in your industry or in the industry that you [00:12:00] might want to transition into that are knowledgeable.
However, the vast majority of people are negative in their mindset. You can tell that someone is negative and probably not the best for your career support system. If their go to response for everything is usually no. If their language is filled with words like Can’t, won’t, don’t, and not possible, then they are probably a person with a more negative mindset.
Having experienced people in your career support system can help because they might have already done what you’re trying to do, or they could have helped other people to reach similar roles.
I just mentioned that it’s important for those people in your career support system to be unbiased as well. But what does being unbiased really look [00:13:00] like? People who are unbiased do not have an agenda for you. They usually do not financially benefit from your career or career progression. This is what makes them different than most family members and friends.
Those who are unbiased don’t receive any financial incentives or positive association from being around you. Sometimes friends and coworkers are biased because they are in the position to reap some kind of reward for your success. Those who are really unbiased are usually outsiders in your current situation.
As an outsider, they are not as involved in what’s going on in your career. Now, researchers have found that some degree of bias is… Pretty much in everyone. For the most [00:14:00] part, independent coaches, consultants, and mentors are unbiased. They usually are only concerned with you achieving your goals. Since they have an outside point of view, they’re usually able to see things more objectively and rationally.
Do you have anyone in your life that you think is unbiased? At this point, who would you say in your career support system meets those four criteria?
After I explained more about our career support system, many clients tell me that outside of working with our team, they don’t have anyone else in their career support system.
I want you to win. I want you to achieve the resolutions or goals that you have for yourself. [00:15:00] This year, with that in mind, and after talking to many of our clients, we are putting together a new way for us to be a part of your career support system. I can’t release all of the details yet, but know that we are putting the finishing touches on something that will help executives and professionals have the resources, training, community and support for their career growth.
development and change. If you want to be the first to know about this new service, then you can just send our team an email at admin@flyhicoaching.com. So that’s admin at Fly F l y. Hi, H I g h coaching.com. Just mention new service in the subject line. [00:16:00] And that’s it. We’ll send you all the details soon.
