Take a moment to think about how long you’ve had some of your closest friends. Are they from childhood, college, or did you meet them at work? Friends usually make up a large part of your support system. They are there to listen, help you solve problems, and have a good time with. Some people spend more time with their friends than their family members. What do friendships mean to you? How important are they? Whether you place a high value on friendships or not, everyone needs support.
When I started my journey creating success in my own life, I never considered how the dynamics of relationships I had with people would change. I like peace and harmony for myself and others. I’m usually recognized for my loyalty and reliability, traits that go hand in hand with friendship. If I have a good friend in need, “Just call my name, and I’ll be there.” like the Jackson 5. A lesson I’ve learned the hard way, is that some people close to you can’t handle your success.
Here are some myths I believed:
Everyone wants to be successful
If you are growth minded and a goal setter it’s almost second nature to think that everyone else is this way. The truth is a lot of people hold themselves back based on fear and self-doubt. How many people do you know who won’t apply for a promotion or new job, because they’ve convinced themselves that it’s easier to stay the same? Some people take it further and gossip about others who have the confidence to put themselves out there. I’ve seen a lot of clients deal with friends and family members who try to talk them out of their dreams.
When you grow/change everyone close to you will support you
If you’re my friend, I want you to be your best. I think that everyone is unique, so comparison is usually counterproductive. In my personal experience, I’ve found that the majority of people don’t actually support your growth. It’s been studied in psychology that most people are resistant to change, so they subconsciously (and consciously) look for ways to stay the same. In the US, we live in a very competitive environment at school, work, and even on playgrounds. A lot of people might see your growth as intimidating, as though you will no longer be on their level.
If you are humble, people will accept you
I personally like to fly under the radar, that’s just my style. Regardless of what you do and say, some people will still feel threatened by your success. I’ve seen friendships fall apart because one person got a new job, started making more money, or got a boyfriend/girlfriend. There wasn’t any bragging or obnoxious behavior. Instead others just decided the changes were too much and the friendships ended.
Having a solid support system is vital to your career and business success. But it’s also important to know that you can’t control other people. If you’re serious about creating success, there’s a good chance that you’ll have to release some people and their negative energy from your life. It’s all part of the process. Who are some new, supportive people you can add to your circle? At Fly High Coaching, we are always here to support you in your coaching needs. Contact us today for a free Vision of Success Session.
Porschia Parker-Griffin
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