Anxiety is something many professionals experience, but how do you know if it’s just nerves or something more serious? Do you often ask yourself, “Why do I have anxiety?”
In this episode of the #Career101Podcast, host Porschia and guest Shara Ruffin, a licensed clinical social worker, explore the signs of anxiety and its impact on daily life. They discuss how to differentiate between normal nervousness and more persistent anxiety that may require attention.
Shara shares practical tips on how to manage anxiety, including identifying triggers, practicing mindfulness, and knowing when it might be time to seek therapy. The conversation also touches on strategies for balancing mental health with career demands, offering actionable advice to listeners navigating these challenges.
Shara Ruffin is a licensed clinical social worker with a master’s degree from Howard University. Specializing in various mental health areas, she’s also a board-certified, tele-mental health provider and a successful author. As founder and CEO of Journey to Licensure, Shara has been recognized as a leading LinkedIn expert and Top Voice in social work.
What you’ll learn:
- The difference between normal nervousness and clinical anxiety, and how each affects professionals.
- Effective strategies for identifying anxiety triggers and managing daily stress.
- Practical tips on incorporating mindfulness to alleviate anxiety symptoms.
- Techniques for maintaining mental health while managing a demanding career.
- How to recognize when professional help for anxiety is needed and the benefits of therapy.
- Steps organizations can take to support employees dealing with anxiety and improve overall workplace mental health.
As a thank you for listening to this episode of the Career 101 Podcast, we are sharing our FREE master class – Career 911: Solving the Top 5 Challenges Executives and Professionals Have! It’s a training based on solving the common problems our clients have experienced to reach their goals. You can get access to the master class here!
Resources:
- Episode Transcript
Porschia: [00:00:00] Today we are talking about mental health. Why do I have anxiety with Shara Ruffin? Shara Ruffin is an independently licensed clinical social worker and former psychotherapist from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She holds a bachelor’s degree in social work from Lock Haven university of Pennsylvania and a master’s degree in social work from Howard university school of social work.
Shara has specializations in grief. Personality [00:01:00] disorders, family trauma, compassion, fatigue, military counseling, mindfulness, meditation, ADHD, and anxiety. Shara is a board certified tele mental health provider. Shara is also a five time Amazon bestseller of social media. A social work journal called 90 days of prayer.
Currently Shara is the founder and CEO of a consulting company called Journey to Licensure. Shara’s company was featured in Business Insider, Success Magazine, and USA Today. Shara is a LinkedIn advisor and was most recently awarded top 15 LinkedIn expert in Philadelphia in 2023 and top voice of social work.
Hi, Shara. How are you today?
Shara: I’m doing very well. Thank you for inviting me to the podcast. I’m very excited
Porschia: to be here. We are thrilled that you are here with us to discuss mental health and also [00:02:00] anxiety, but first we want to know a little more about you. So tell me about seven year old Shara.
Seven year old Shars.
Shara: She loved Barbies. She loved Barbies. She loved playing with her brother, baby brother at the time. My brother’s a year younger than me. I have Three of them, but he was only a couple months under. So we played a lot together. We spend a lot of time in our early years playing.
We played a lot of video games. I always love to read and just to get outside and play. That’s what I remember of seven year old Charlotte, very curious. Yeah. What did she want to be when she grew up? At the time she wanted to be the next Brandy. Love it. Love it. Brandy was a big thing back back then.
Brandy, between Brandy and Mariah Carey. If I think about the early nineties.
Porschia: Yeah. Loved it. I love Brandy too. My sister was [00:03:00] a huge Mariah Carey fan, so we definitely could have hung out. So what was your first job
Shara: was working and believe Capsy on South street in Philadelphia. I was about 14, 15 years old.
Porschia: Yeah. Some of our guests have mentioned fast food as their first job. My first job was at Wendy’s. So I was taking orders and handing out fries and bags out the window. So I get it, Shara, but there are a lot of great lessons that I think you can learn. In fast food about customer service, among other things.
Yes,
Shara: very much
Porschia: tell us about some highlights or pivotal moments in your career before you started the business that you have today.
Shara: I would say a pivotal part of my career probably would be being able to be, become a therapist. When I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, [00:04:00] I went straight back for my master’s.
I didn’t want to stop. When I got my master’s, Because I didn’t have any psychotherapy experience beyond just my field placement I was very excited to get my first outpatient therapy job, but it wasn’t all I thought it would be at first, both having to do insurance claims. However, I was able to get a lot of mentorship and I was able to start pivoting in terms of what I wanted to focus on with the population that I served.
But the pivotal part would probably be the pivoting. Building programs. I loved finding out what my target audience needed and building programs that serve them well. So being in a partial hospitalization program where I could build different groups based on their interests, mindfulness, meditation, I became certified in that.
That was one of my favorite groups to run meditation, aromatherapy, substance abuse and recovery plate, sanctuary plate therapy. [00:05:00] My job, my last therapist job gave me a lot of room to be able to practice evidence based interventions while also getting certified in them. That was probably the most pivotal part of my career because it allowed me once I left that position to have a rich background in using different modalities and practicing.
If I ever decided to go into private practice.
Porschia: So what would you say has been your biggest career challenge so far before starting your own business
Shara: balancing motherhood, I think, bouncing motherhood as well as burnout and At times at that point in my career trying to figure out what was going to be the next thing I needed to do to enhance my career to make sure I was marketable to make sure I stayed up to date with trends that were going on within my field.
That was challenging at times, especially when you had a little person to look after as well, but it worked out. [00:06:00]
Porschia: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. A lot of our clients who are executives and professionals have similar challenges around, motherhood or fatherhood work life balance. If you’re one of the people who believes that exists, some people don’t and then burnout is a big topic as well. So you have a very interesting background. It’s also very inspiring. What motivated you to become a social worker?
Shara: I grew up in West Philadelphia in a low income community. My parents were teenage parents. My mother was a intermediate foster mom.
She would take in children. Two of my brothers were adopted by her through foster care placement. She didn’t want to give them back so she adopted them and through watching that process of seeing social workers coming out the home I became really interested in that profession. However, I never thought about making it one.
It wasn’t until [00:07:00] my psychology advisor, because I was a psychology major in college, said that I think you should look at social work. I think that may be a better fit for you. My introduction to psychology class was more science based and I, respect psychology. I wanted to be a psychologist, but she thought I would be a better fit.
Just doing social work and efforts. I thought, don’t they just cater to kids? And boy, was I wrong. Once I did my first introduction to social work class, I never looked back and 19 years later, here I am.
Porschia: That is great. That is great. And, there are so many nuances to what you said and also to the different fields.
I was a psychology major in undergrad as well and love the science classes, but yeah, it’s very science heavy. A lot of our clients ask me about the differences between various helping modalities. So for those who don’t know, can you explain the difference between counseling and therapy?
Shara: Yes, [00:08:00] I can definitely go into that. So I think the first thing I’ll probably start out with is that they’re very interchangeable, a lot of the time, but there are distinct differences in terms of the focus, the scope, the application. So counseling, their focus and scope is usually tends to address specific issues or situations, such as career guidance, relationship problems, or specific stressors.
often focusing on providing solutions to current problems and developing strategies for coping. The duration is usually short term, aiming to assist individuals in overcoming immediate concerns. The approach counselors usually take with helping clients to identify goals and potential solutions to problems, which usually cause emotional turmoil, and they usually seek to improve communication or coping skills, strengthen their self esteem, promote behavioral change and optimal health.
Their qualifications for counselors are [00:09:00] usually a master’s degree in counseling, or a related field, or they’re licensed independently in their state. So therapy or a case cycle therapy, the focus scope is usually more long term. They’re usually diving into deeper traumas, past traumas, issues, chronic patterns.
The aim is to explore the root cause of major issues like depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. Therapy is more concerned with restructuring the personality or self and dealing with longstanding patterns or behaviors of thought. Duration is usually long term. And ranges from several months to years, depending on the complexity of the issue.
The approach therapists usually take when it comes to working with clients is to help them really understand the connection between their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. That process usually is looking at exploring past experiences and how it affects current behavior with the aim of doing deep personal change work.
The [00:10:00] qualifications for therapists usually are a master’s degree, doctoral psychology, clinical social work, marriage and family counseling, psychiatry, and they have to be licensed in their state. So there are key similarities. They both provide a support environment where clients can talk about openly with objective, neutral, non judgmental space.
Both approaches to me aim to improve mental health and being and enhancing the self and understanding of the problems that may be affecting their belief system. So when choosing, another thing I probably want to point out is, how do I choose therapy or counseling? It really depends on the nature of your issue.
And thinking about what’s your specific problem, the type of guidance that you actually need. So if you’re looking to look into deep work regarding your, what you may find the patterns that are problematic, that maybe stem from childhood, you might want to look at psychotherapy. It’s more long [00:11:00] term counseling.
It’s more goal oriented and short term. It should be.
Porschia: Thank you. I love that definition that you gave and all of those distinctions because people I tend to have a lot of questions about those in my years as a coach, I have referred clients to therapists when they need those services.
What are some of the most common mental health challenges you saw with your clients when you were practicing psychotherapy?
Shara: A lot of the time when it came to dealing with past traumas, it was when they did resurface, helping them to deal with the triggers. And luckily for me, I had a, I worked on a multidisciplinary team, so it was helpful to have a psychiatrist on staff, a nurse a Brief counselor, besides myself, because I can’t be everybody in one.
So being able to diversify what the client needed from a [00:12:00] holistic perspective with Beth I have had colleagues that are doing private practice and they have challenges of. If there are certain issues that were exacerbated by the therapy they were doing, they would need to refer out. And sometimes dealing with insurance and navigating that system can be rough.
But most of the time for me, a lot of the challenges had to do with a lot of their defense mechanisms that would come up when they needed support. A lot of deflection, our compartmentalizing things a lot of those natural defense mechanisms that we all use to some degree when it comes to bringing up those type of issues and helping the client to navigate through them and really building a strong therapeutic alliance to make sure that they had a safe space to do it in.
But most of the time if I had a trusting relationship with them. A lot of times they would trust the interventions that I would use, but most of the time it was usually them fighting themselves and really coming to realization of some of it, [00:13:00] the problems that they had and uncovering the unconscious motivations of the mind that were affecting their current.
Lifestyle.
Porschia: Wow. When you said uncovering the unconscious motivations of the mind, that just hit me. I think there’s a lot there and I’m sure that Some of the members in our audience will definitely want to go back and listen to this episode again because you are really sharing a lot of great information with us.
Many of the executives and professionals we work with feel like they might be dealing with anxiety. How does someone know the difference between the natural feeling of just being nervous and then on the other hand, having anxiety?
Shara: Yeah, so let’s talk about that. So feeling nervous, I think one, inexperienced anxiety, they both are related, but they have distinctive experiences.
They [00:14:00] differ mainly in their triggers, their duration impacts on someone’s life. Understanding the differences can help and identify which one you may need to get professional help with. So feeling nervous triggers. Nervousness is a natural response to a specific situation. For example, you might feel nervous before giving a presentation, going on a date, or attending an interview.
The cause of nervousness is usually very identifiable. The duration of nervousness is temporary and tends to subside once the specific event blows over or you adapt to the situation. The intensity impact while it can be uncomfortable to be nervous. It’s generally manageable. Doesn’t significantly impair your ability to function.
It’s normal. It’s a normal reaction to uncertainty, stress, excitement, anxiety. On the other hand, trigger, I would say anxiety specifically in the context of an anxiety disorder can be triggered by specific situation. Or nothing [00:15:00] identifiable at all. It’s often more about this anticipation of future threats or worry about things that might go wrong rather than a response to immediate situation.
The duration of anxiety usually is more persistent, can last for a very long time often without a clear reason. It’s not limited to specific situations and can affect someone’s ability to function. The intensity impact is not limited. Anxiety can be just very overwhelming. It can significantly impact your daily functioning.
It really involves a lot of more intense symptoms, such as persistent worry physical symptoms, heart palpitations, trembling sweating, and can lead to avoiding avoidance behaviors. Anxiety can affect someone’s ability to work, maintain their relationships, and then basically just enjoy their life. So key distinctions I would think.
would be the source. So nervousness is usually a direct rational [00:16:00] reaction to a challenge or to treat a threat. Anxiety is usually due to a disorder, disproportionate or detached from the actual situation. They don’t really have an identifiable source. It’s more of that persistent, sometimes irrational worry, which is a distinction from just being nervous.
Nervousness is usually situational it’s specific, and the limit is, it’s very limited. But with anxiety, it’s chronic, it can affect a wide range of situations across someone’s life, and they often feel out of control. So those are some of the things I think about. Oh yeah, I forgot, in treatment, And the management can be very different.
So techniques like deep breathing, preparation, visualization can help both, but chronic or severe anxiety may require professional treatment, such as psychotherapy or medications. All in all, out of everything I said in summary, [00:17:00] it’s normal to feel anxious in certain situations that’s a part of life.
Particularly. When it comes to, doing a speech, or any type of normal life event, anxiety on our hand, it can be very. severe and it can be constant, which usually can indicate a deeper issue. So being able to recognize the difference between two can help someone understand when their experiences are a normal part of their life, stressors, or when it might be time to seek help for anxiety if it’s persistent or not.
And if it’s affecting their overall functioning,
Porschia: wow, a lot of great information there, Shara. What are some of the main causes of anxiety that you saw as a psychotherapist in your practice?
Shara: One of the main causes of anxiety for a lot of my clients a lot of it came from their disorders were pathological in nature.
A lot, some of my clients that I work with for high power [00:18:00] professionals, they would range from someone who was a very type A person, a lot of pressure on themselves and had a perfectionist type of unrealistic expectations of themselves. Or I would get someone that had generalized anxiety disorder like myself.
Where it’s more pathological when there’s that persistent worry and it affects every part of their life. So I would get one range where it’s normal and kind of anxiety to have, and it’s affected part of their work performance or functioning, or it’s more persistent and pathological in nature, where it’s daily, every day, and it’s debilitating to the point where they may need hospitalization.
I’ve had that. So it’s, it ranged, but a lot of commonalities of the disorders. And the normal range of anxiety. Sometimes I would get somebody just I’m just anxious about everything. And then we find out that there’s an underlying issue related to a personal experience that they had. [00:19:00] Or if it was specifically to a situation, many of them were really pathological nature due to a disorder, which is very different than just someone that’s just anxious about everything.
But a lot of the work I had to do was rewiring around how they looked at A specific situation. So the teaching them that even though this situation is happening, you may not be able to change the situation. You can change how you respond to it. You can change your thought process around how you look at it.
So that was the range. A lot of Gumball potluck of different situations of anxiety. And then,
Porschia: yeah, one thing I hear a lot from our clients, Shara and it’s at different levels. Like I’ve heard this from clients who are managing partners at their own law firm to, early career professionals. But I hear something along the lines of, I just feel like I have anxiety every day before I go [00:20:00] into the office.
Or something along those lines is what I tend to hear a lot of. Did you hear a bit of that in your practice?
Shara: I did in different capacities if it wasn’t related to work usually then I’m looking for a participatory event. That occurred, or what’s the initial thought that pops up when you think of work?
And then I’m able to pull back those layers of the thought. Sometimes we’re not aware of the thought and the chain reaction that happens. When we may have a feeling, we can identify a feeling, but the thought is unconscious, which then brings on the behavior. So really helping people to recognize that cycle and the unconscious part of the mind that can enhance or exacerbate the behavior that comes up that can be uncomfortable.
That was always key when I did therapy.
Porschia: So you mentioned exercises like deep breathing, doing meditation and then working, with a professional like a therapist, but [00:21:00] are there any other tips or recommendations that you would give to people who want to work on their level of anxiety?
Shara: Yes, I would say first recognizing your triggers, that has to come first.
Identifying what are the thoughts that trigger your anxiety, awareness is always the first step to learning how to manage it. And also acceptance, [00:22:00] accepting and acknowledging without judgment. Accepting that you have anxiety doesn’t mean you’re giving into it. It just means you’re ready to work on it.
And that’s that’s to me the pivotal part of really getting to the cusp of just the anxiety, recognizing the triggers, acknowledging your feelings and accepting it and being nonjudgmental towards yourself. And that would be a couple of different ones. I guess mindfulness and relaxation can take many forms.
Most people think of mindfulness and I’m just sitting and doing deep breathing. Some people can’t do that. There are different options, such as mindfulness yoga or movement or mindfulness walking. The practice of mindfulness is really just being present with yourself without judgment, which can help you gain their perspective on your anxious thoughts.
Progressive muscle relaxation. Another one, establishing a healthy routine. So regular exercise, physical activity can reduce anxiety. Finding activities you [00:23:00] enjoy to make it part of your life. Balance diet, eating well, sleep, an understatement. This is something I still need to work on. So your sleep, ensuring you get enough rest can decrease your anxiety.
Setting realistic goals. Small steps. Breaking your objectives up into smaller manageable parts so the challenges are less daunting for you. And pacing yourself, practicing cognitive behavioral techniques, challenging negative thoughts, problem solving limiting stimulants such as caffeine, nicotine, connecting with others for ongoing support, sharing your feelings with friends or family, support groups.
Learning to say no is another one. That’s a big one for me. Boundaries, knowing that it’s okay to set limits and boundaries to reduce your stress. Over committing can lead to burnout, increased anxiety. That’s, I know, is very prevalent around professionals, period. And practicing self compassion, being kind to yourself.[00:24:00]
Porschia: Wow. I’ve been taking notes, Shara, and I’m sure our listeners are too. Those were some great tips and recommendations that you mentioned. And I loved what you said about mindfulness and Also really painting the picture of how that can look different for different people. We had an episode, it was episode 56 on mindfulness at work.
And we talked a bit about mindfulness, but I think you have definitely added to that conversation. So we’ve talked a bit about, Anxiety. But I want to know from your perspective, what are some of the biggest challenges that you’ve seen executives or professionals have with their mental health just across the board?
Shara: Biggest challenges, I probably would say is I’ve seen this by myself to learning how to say no, putting boundaries in place and and learning that there’s life outside of your desk,
outside of that [00:25:00] computer, especially if you’re an entrepreneur. And I say this for myself, I have to remind myself, Shara, that you have a son, you have a fiance, you have kids. Your stepdaughters, you got other, you have their work. Great. But you still have a life to get back to. Sometimes we get so caught up in the throes of work and business that we forget and we have to make sure we note that life still continues.
And that’s okay to take breaks. And something I’m personally still working on, I have to remind myself. That’s one of the biggest issues that I see. And I personally experience daily. Is making sure those boundaries are in place, saying no. And doing self care, what, self care looks different to a lot of people.
It’s not always a bath. Self care is doing something every day that’s going to fill, refill your cup. In order for you to keep giving out to others.
Porschia: Wow. As an entrepreneur, I am [00:26:00] with you, Shara. The boundaries and stepping away from the desk, something I have to work on as well. And I see that with our clients.
So I really like Everything that you’ve said, Shara, and I think for the audience, it’s really just about finding what works for you. Shara, you’ve given us some great examples. And I think people just need to try some of these things out, and see what is effective for them. Actually, I thought of a couple of more.
Shara: So one is isolation. It’s lonely, right? I think it can be very lonely the higher you climb. The corporate ladder or the few peers you have, which can add to that sense of isolation lack of support. I know a lot of that can just can feel like they have fewer people they can trust, find them when they have challenges that can also exacerbate the.
That loneliness and the stress I come to with it unrelenting expectations to perform. [00:27:00] That’s one for me. That’s constant constant availability being that having expectation of being on connected available for work matters, regardless of the time, of course, leads can be draining. Ooh, speak that one right there.
Yeah. And this perfectionism And even just prioritizing mental health period, it’s I’m making money. My mind will be okay when I go get this Louis Vuitton bag. But there’s such a culture around the value of overworking and Even undervaluing your self care, it can make it difficult to justify time for mental health, sometimes even access to care.
The demanding schedules of people that are in business world executives can make it challenging to commit to therapeutic or counseling. Those are some of the other ones, high pressure all the time, stigma, perception, that goes along with having mental health issues. Those are some of the other ones that I can think about.[00:28:00]
Now I don’t want to leave the listeners without saying, Hey here are all these things. How do I mitigate these challenges? Again, I think when it comes to being a professional or an entrepreneur, it’s about, fostering a culture that prioritizes mental health and that culture doesn’t necessarily have to be in a work environment.
You can build that yourself, especially if you’re. On your own, you’re working as an entrepreneur, you’re a consultant. You have to cultivate that for yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have, as the old saying goes, so building a social network, setting boundaries practicing stress reduction techniques that help mitigate some of those that I already named.
Porschia: Wow. Wow. A lot of great points that you’ve made there, Shara. One thing that I have heard from a lot of our clients, and this comes up a lot with our clients in our [00:29:00] Membership. Our Brave Bird Career Alliance is that pressure to feel like they have to be on all the time. And just in some of our group coaching sessions and group Q& A calls, I have to say all the time, you can ask questions.
Questions and take that pressure off of yourself because people feel like a lot of times at work, they’ve got to be perfect or on all the time, and there isn’t a place where they can just really ask questions and work on their career. Thank you. for touching on that. So tell us more about your business.
Shara: Journey to Licensure is my consulting company for social workers. I basically help them with their license exams. I help them with their brand building as well as giving them professional development and support and mentorship. Once they finish their license in terms of building their brand or their consulting business that they want one, or just trying to help them.
With what are the next steps? What [00:30:00] should I be doing to enhance my career as a social worker as well as helping them with clinical supervision for those that need support? It’s been quite a ride. I’m still in the midst of that journey, but it’s been about three years so far and it’s going pretty strong.
So that’s where I’m at. That’s my consulting company in a nutshell.
Porschia: Yes. Yes. It’s definitely going very strong, Shara, because I see you all the time on LinkedIn.
Yes, it’s going well. It’s been pretty busy. Yeah. We’ll be providing a link to your website and other social channels in our show notes so people can find you online. But what is the best way for someone to get in touch with you?
Shara: I would say I’m on seven different platforms and not hard to reach.
I answer my own messages when I can, or my assistant Lisa, who’s another social worker, will do so for me. But the best way to reach me is to reach out either through LinkedIn. My inbox is always open. You can find me on any Instagram, [00:31:00] Facebook, you can send me a direct message and I’ll easily respond.
Within a good amount of time.
Porschia: Great. Great. So what is your definition of career success, Shara?
Shara: So that’s a loaded question because it’s subjective, right? Cause it looks differently to everybody. I think for me, career success is being able to be fulfilled in what you do. There is the outcome of the revenue and, the but the fulfillment because I’ve worked so many years having to just be in survival mode to be able to do something that I love to do and be able to make a living from it, but be able to help other people.
It’s where I’m at in my journey and it’s been very helpful for me to have a different purpose and to cultivate my experiences and to be able to have them be a blueprint for others in my field for me is success in
Porschia: itself. [00:32:00] Love it. So this is the last question that we ask all of our guests.
How do you think executives or professionals can get a positive edge in their career?
Shara: Being someone who’s been talking about mental health the whole time, I would say that would be it. I’ll just say the saying of the body can’t work without the mind, vice versa. The mind can’t work without the body. They are two intertwined systems. They work together, not apart. We have to be, get better at taking care of ourselves and not apologizing for doing so.
That is as, as clear cut as I’m going to say it, because we’ve been talking about mental health the whole time and I’m going to stay there because it’s one area, whenever you talk about mental health, especially if you’re an executive or you’re very type a, or you just about, you’re about your business, In that we lose sight of what’s really important because at the end, what really matters is the impact of the work you’re doing.
The accolades [00:33:00] and the revenue, you can’t take any of that stuff with you in the casket, you’re gone. But you do leave the impact of what you leave in other people, how you made them felt, were your services changing lives? Was it helping in some way? That is the most important thing, at least for me. It may be subjective to other people what that looks like to them.
Porschia: Well, Shara, you’ve shared a lot of wisdom with us today, and I’m sure that our listeners can use it to be more confident in their careers. We appreciate you being with us. I love being here. Thank you so much. [00:34:00]
